


Pancakes and Other Breakfast Foods

by cjr09



Series: A Collection of Eldemore Drabbles [3]
Category: Eldemore
Genre: M/M, Pancakes, What even happened here I don't know, and also waffles, crackish probably, domestic fluff basically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-29
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2018-04-01 20:22:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4033297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjr09/pseuds/cjr09
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If Sorren were a full-time cook for a restaurant, his pancakes would be heralded throughout the land as the pancakes that could end wars and solve world hunger and stop Oblivion in his tracks.</p><p>So when Sorren makes waffles instead, it's understandable that Willy got a little upset about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pancakes and Other Breakfast Foods

To Willy’s credit, he took longer than Sorren thought to complain.

To his discredit, it was only a full two seconds longer.

“Sorren, what _is_ this?” Willy asks, sounding absolutely scandalized, and Sorren already knows that this was going to be a long day.

“It’s a waffle, Willy,” Sorren says, not taking his eyes off the next quickly cooking waffle from where it sizzles in the iron.

“But- but where’s the _pancakes,”_ Willy stresses, stuttering and flicking his eyes back and forth between the still-untouched waffle on his plate and Sorren with increasing urgency and panic.

“I don’t have all the ingredients I need for pancake batter, and these are quicker and easier to make. Just put the batter in the waffle iron and wait, without constantly keeping watch,” Sorren says, sliding the finished waffle from its place on the iron.

“But Sorren- these- these are _unacceptable,”_   Willy gasps, scrambling from his chair.

Sorren raises an eyebrow, deadly and unimpressed.

He huffs out a breath through his nose.

“Do tell, Willy.”

“It’s- Sorren, just look at these things! Waffles-” he spits out the word like it’s personally offended him, and Sorren’s eyebrow raises to join the other- “are nowhere _near_ as fun as pancakes. You can’t make funny faces with a waffle, now can you? You can only have squares and sadness.”

“Willy, you’re a grown man. You don’t _need_ to make ‘funny faces’ out of your food,” Sorren sighs, turning back to his own food.

 _“Squares_ and _sadness_ , Sorren,” Willy stresses, hitting the table a few times to accentuate his point.

Sorren sighs through his nose, “If that’s it, then-”

“Also, what about stackability?”

“Stacka- Willy, that’s not a word,” Sorren says, and Willy cuts through again.

“Stackability, Sorren! No one in their right mind would stack waffles more than two high, but with pancakes, there’s no limit!”

“I- and that somehow makes them the better _food?”_

“The novelty of eating pancakes is the toppings, Sorren, the _toppings._ Can you spread your dollop of whip cream-” “It’s never a ‘dollop’ of anything with you, Willy.” “-across a waffle? No! Because it all goes into those weird dip-cup things, and you have to scoop it out and move it across the waffle and it- it doesn’t _work,_ Sorren.”

“Do you think you’re taking this a little too seriously,” Sorren asks, deadpan and unimpressed. Honestly, his breakfast was getting cold thanks to all of this malarkey and they couldn’t exactly reheat this easily.

“No, I think you’re taking this way too not-seriously!” Willy yells, flailing his arms above his head and Muzu caws in alarm from the table.

“Listen, Sorren. Pancakes are superior to waffles in every way- just look at their names! Pancakes are a combination of ‘pan’ and ‘cake’, and gives off the impression of fun times and delicious meals. Do you know what waffles sound like Sorren? Awful. Waffle rhymes with awful and therefore that’s what they _are_ Sorren.”

“I- Willy, that makes _no sense._ Look, if you don’t like my cooking, make your own-” Willy cuts him off with a high pitched gasping noise, looking hurt.

“No, I _love_ your cooking. It’s- your talent is _wasted_ on waffles. Making waffles has no _soul_ , it’s a cruel practice, you just shove the batter into that contraption-”

“What- they’re not alive, Willy, they don’t have souls, what are you even-”

“-but with pancakes it takes _skill_ and _love_ to make truly good ones, it’s art in culinary form, Sorren-”

“What does it even _matter_ Willy,” Sorren inturrupts, confused and more than a little fed up with his friend’s antics.

Willy stares him directly in the eyes, “I think we need to get a divorce.”

Sorren stares at him open mouthed, floundering for a good few moments and Fiore picks her head up from where she’d been eating her own waffle in interest, before gently sliding off her chair and out the door before anyone else noticed.

“We’re not _married_ Willy.”

“You can have most of our things, it’s fine, I’ll take Fiore and my sign and my humble glass smithin’ materials, and we’ll work out a schedule for who takes care of the Sealer when and Muzu can come and visit every once an’ a while, I’m sure Fiore’ll want to come and visit occasionally, but I think it’s time we stopped pretending we can go on like this-” Muzu makes a distressed noise and starts flying between Willy and Sorren rapidly, cawing.

“I know, buddy, this must be hard for you,” Willy says to Muzu as he lights down on Willy’s hand, beady black eyes shining blue and flashing in concern, “But we’ll still see each other, maybe not as often as we usually do, but-”

“Wilhelm Amadeus the Third,” Sorren yells, voice rising to match Willy’s earlier volume and Willy he finally stops talking, “If I promise to never make waffles again will you _stop scaring Muzu!”_

Willy makes an exaggerated sniffing sound and wipes away an imaginary tear with the hand not currently holding Muzu. “You’d do that for me?”

Sorren hates Willy with _every fiber of his being_ and really he just should’ve let Willy leave at this point.

Willy rushes around the table and picks Sorren up, swinging the slighter man around in a crushing hug and Sorren quietly considers putting poison in Willy’s pancakes tomorrow.

Then Willy starts trying to kiss him and it goes from consideration to determination and Willy’s death was going to be _slow_ and _painful_ the second Sorren could free himself from his ex-friends’ grip.

“Um. Should I come back later?” Both Willy and Sorren freeze as a voice comes from the doorway- the Sealer, looking confused and mildly horrified like they’d just walked in on their parents kissing (They had, in a sense) and Fiore, looking incredibly smug at their side.

Sorren hated everything.

“We’ll be out in a bit, kiddo! Sorren’s gonna make pancakes soon,” Willy says, smiling and the Sealer bolts, because if they can recognize one thing it’s when Sorren’s angry and ready to assign some excess homework.

“I hate you so much,” Sorren mutters, limp and angry in Willy’s arms and now with a throbbing headache- If he didn’t know better he’d say he had a transformation coming on.

“Aww, don’t be so sour, Sorren! At least now we don’t have to tell them we’re getting a divorce!”

Sorren makes a noise at the back of his throat and he’s pretty sure his face has never been redder and Willy was going to die today.

“They already call us Dad and Mom, so now they know who’s who in this relationship!”

Willy was going to die _now._

Sorren wiggles his way from Willy’s grip and leaves a few new bruises on Willy’s arms, but his methods can’t be very effective since Willy laughs the entire time.

He kicks Willy out of ‘their’ house and he returns half an hour later with more ingredients for pancakes and only because none of them ate this morning does Sorren make them, and he only just restrains from poisoning Willy’s because he deserves a more cruel death than that.

He watches through Muzu’s eyes as the Sealer and Willy play some form of ball game by the docks as he cooks and smiles.

He might not mind being the ‘mother’ of this family so much, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> I blame Sphye and Benathorn entirely Bena for the idea and Sphye for dragging me into the realm of shipping trash with her
> 
> Heavily influenced by the Debate-O-Rama: Pancakes vs. Waffles because I needed ideas and that was hilarious.
> 
> PS- The reason Willy went to the docks was to throw the waffle iron into the sea. Sorren suspects but never finds out where it went, and he doesn't buy a new one.


End file.
